Don't Despair When It Comes to Marriage

Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem,
Assalam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barkatuhu

Marriage is Sunnah and also half our deen. It’s a new door that leads to happiness as it unites two people and creates new familial bonds. When I think of marriage, I think of the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam). I think of love, mercy, compassion, friendship, and happiness.

Today we are living in a time where it is very difficult to get married. Culture seems to play a bigger role in marriage than the religion itself which causes much distress among families especially youngsters who suffer the most. If I ask a young Muslim brother why he hasn’t married? He would say, “I do not have the means to support a wife, I am looking for a job.” Another would say, “I haven’t found the right person.” Then, the excuses build up. When I ask the Muslim sisters, They say “education” and some say, “I will when the times comes InshaAllah.”

While all these great excuses and cultural barriers between parents build up, the people remain unmarried for a very long time.

This is when I have found many people getting depressed. Some have lost hope and think that they will never get married.

This is very sad. I feel guilty writing this but this is a very important issue and is an advice to myself first, then others InshaAllah.

The other day someone told me a story about a beautiful girl who was so proud of herself she would reject every good proposal that would come to her thinking they are not good enough. Finally, there came to a point where she was getting older and the proposals stopped coming to her. While in desperation, there finally came a proposal which was was distinct from the others and she finally accepted it but got rejected at the end. The reason being that she got a lot older than she used to be. This made the girl commit suicide. Note: this is not a true story. Moral: Look into the proposals you receive because they are a blessing from Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala and do not reject them unless you have a good reason (Advice to my self first and to everyone InshaAllah)

The reason for mentioning all this is to remind my dear brothers and sisters in Islam not to despair if you feel you cannot get married at the moment. Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala will have someone for you. Do not lose hope thinking that you will never get married.

Here are a few steps that may facilitate the process of marriage:

1. Maintain a good relationship with Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala. The other day I reflected upon this thinking to myself, if I do not have a good relationship with Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala, then how will I expect myself to have a good relationship with others? Work on your relationship with Allah Subhana Wa ta’ala. Leave your sins and take yourself to account. Check your attitude towards others daily including your anger level, character, patience and if its faltering, work on it. Also when it comes to Salah, rush for it. Pray with Khushoo. Remember, the happiest person is the one who submits himself to Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala.

2. Tell your parents. If you are closer to your mom or dad, tell them. In other cases, if you have a big brother or a sister who is closer to you, ask them to talk to your parents on your behalf. Try to convince them with a kind attitude. If you are good to your parents, they will definitely listen to you.

3. Make lots of duas. I have known a few sisters who have made lots of duas for righteous husbands. I have seen them very happy in life Masha’Allah. Furthermore, make sure to wake up in the night for Tahajjud and ask Allah for a good spouse. Once you have done that, keep making dua until a good proposal comes to you. Do not stop no matter what. This is where Shaytan will get to you! Do not Stop!

4. Put your complete trust in Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala.

‘The emaan of a person cannot be true until he has more trust in that which is in Allah’s Hands than that which is in his own hands.’ [Ali Ibn Abi Talib RadiAllahu 'Anhu]

Be like a child, who would say, “I asked my mother to bring me my lunch to school.” The lunch time almost comes to an end and all his friends would say, “I don’t think your mom is gonna come. The lunch time is almost over.” The child would not stop and will say over again, “Say anything you want, I know my mom will come and give me the best lunch ever!”. No sooner than he turns around, he finds his mother holding his favorite lunch. The child would then tell his friend, “I told you, she would! My mother is amazing. She loves me so much.”

The reason I have mentioned the story of a mother and a child is to show the pure innocence of the child. How he trusted his mother and waited patiently on her that she will bring him his favorite food he asked her to get. Also the relationship between a mother and her child is amazingly remarkable. A mother loves her child so much and never asks for anything in return. In your life you will always find people who love you but no other love in the world compares to that of a mother.

Now, imagine your relationship with Allah Subhana Wa ta’ala. Allah loves us more than our mothers. So if you ask Him for something, don’t lose hope, know He will give you the best! Always Expect the best from Allah Subhana Wa ta’ala.

5. Always remember after hardship comes ease. So be patient.

“Life is like a coin. Pleasure and pain are the two sides. Only one side is visible at a time. But remember other side is waiting for its turn.”

6. When things go wrong always say:

“Allah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs (for us).”[Surah Al 'Imran 173]

It doesn’t matter if you get rejected by someone. You never know what’s the good behind it.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.”
(2: 216)

Leave your affairs to Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala. What is meant to happen will happen InshaAllah and you will get rewarded for your patience. I can almost imagine myself in Jannah enjoying the fruits and drinks flowing like a waterfall. The more I am waiting here, the more I am enjoying there and don’t forget Jannah is eternal.

7. Increase in worship. Start fasting every Mondays and Thursdays. It is sunnah! Fasting helps you and you can make lots of duas while you are fasting.

8. Read Qur’an daily and reflect upon it. It doesn’t matter if you do not get what you want here in this world, you still have the Hereafter. You have not lost anything. The affairs of a believer are good both in this world and the hereafter.

9. Keep doing good deeds and give more charity.

“Surely, Allah’s Mercy is [ever] near unto the good-doers.” [Qur’an 7:56]

Know that Paradise is not far away. So work hard for it and compete with other believers in righteousness.

Narrated ‘Abdullah (Radi Allahu Anhu): The Prophet (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said,“Paradise is nearer to anyone of you than the Shirak (leather strap) of his shoe, and so is the (Hell) Fire. [8:495-O.B] Sahih Al Bukhari.

Al-Mutanabbi said:

“Time has showered me with trouble until
The arrows on my heart have formed a cover,
That now when I am struck with an arrow,
The blade of it strikes into the shaft of another,
Now I live without a care for troubles
Since I have nor profited by caring.”

Lastly, according to the book “Don’t be Sad”, “Tribulation is similar to sickness: it must run its course before it goes away, and the one who is hasty in attempting to remove it often causes it to augment and increase. It is imperative that the one who is afflicted be patient; he must wait with hope for relief, and he must be persistent in his prayers.”

May Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala make it easy on the people who are seeking marriage Ameen

Sharing is caring! ;)

Mengikuti Sunnah Rasulullah SAW

Sempena bulan Ramadhan yang penuh keberkatan ini, saya ingin memohon maaf atas segala salah dan silap saya selama berblogging. Alhamdulillah, sudah Ramadhan ke-6 untuk seluruh unmat Islam di dunia menyambut puasa dan Ramadhan ke-5 bagi rakyat Malaysia. Sedih :(( menyaksikan perbezaan puasa umat Islam pada hari ini dan sejak 88 tahun yang lalu lagi (keruntuhan Daulah Khilafah : Turki Usthmaniyah).

Dalam Hâsyiyah as-Sindi di dalam Syarah Sunan Ibnu Mâjah pada bab “Ittiba’ Sunnah Rasulullah SAW” terdapat hadis sebagai berikut:

Telah menceritakan kepada kami Abu Bakar bin Abi Syaibah, ia berkata bahawa telah menceritakan kepada kami Syarik dari al-A’mas dari Abu Shalih dari Abu Hurairah yang berkata bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda:

مَا أَمَرْتُكُمْ بِهِ فَخُذُوهُ وَمَا نَهَيْتُكُمْ عَنْهُ فَانْتَهُو

“Apa yang aku perintahkan pada kalian, maka kerjakanlah. Sebaliknya, apa yang aku larang untuk kalian, maka tinggalkanlah.”

Sabda Rasulullah SAW: “Apa yang aku perintahkan pada kalian, maka kerjakanlah ….“. Hadits ini sebagai tafsir (penjelasan) atas firman Allah SWT: “Apa yang diberikan Rasul kepadamu, maka terimalah. Dan apa yang dilarangnya bagimu, maka tinggalkanlah.” (TQS. Al-Hasyr [59] : 7).

Kata “mâ” di kedua tempat tersebut merupakan “mâ syarthiyah” sebagaimana perkataan Imam as-Suyuthi. Kemudian sabda Rasulullah “Apa yang aku perintahkan pada kalian” adalah umum untuk perintah wajib dan sunnah. Sementara sabda Rasulullah “maka kerjakanlah“, yakni berpegang tegulah dengannya, karena keumuman tuntutan yang meliputi perkara wajib dan sunnah. Sehingga perintah ini diterapkan atas keduanya (wajib dan sunah). Ada sebahagian yang mengatakan bahwa hal ini dikhususkan pada perintah wajib saja.

Begitu juga dengan sabda Rasululah “Apa yang aku larang untuk kalian” adalah umum untuk larangan haram dan makruh. Juga tuntutan dalam sabdanya “maka tinggalkanlah” adalah umum untuk keduanya (haram dan makruh). Dan kemungkinan juga khusus pada larangan yang haram saja. Sekalipun kontek seruan dalam hadits itu untuk orang kedua, namun ulama sepakat bahawa hukum yang terkandung di dalamnya umum mencakup orang ketiga. Dan berdasarkan keumummannya, maka hal ini meliputi pula mujtahid dan muqallid.

Segala puji bagi Allah semata, bahawa Allah telah menjadi kami di antara orang yang bekerja untuk menerapkan hukum Allah di bumi. Ternyata, di tengah-tengah umat ini ada orang yang mengerti betul manthûq (makna yang tersurat) dari ayat yang mulia “Apa yang diberikan Rasul kepadamu, maka terimalah. Dan apa yang dilarangnya bagimu, maka tinggalkanlah.” (TQS. Al-Hasyr [59] : 7). Sementara hadits yang sedang kami bicarakan ini adalah menegaskan hakikat syara’, iaitu, bahwa Islam harus diterapkan secara penuh.

Sehingga, jikalau Islam diterapkan semuanya kecuali satu hukum, seperti orang yang menginginkan kekuasaan yang berkata: Kami akan menerapkan semua hukum Islam, mulai dari kehidupan rumah tangga hingga politik luar negeri dan hubungan internasional, kecuali hukum tentang pencurian, di mana kami tidak ingin memotong tangan, maka tindakan yang demikian itu telah menjatuhkannya pada perkara haram, dan menjadikannya tidak menerapkan Islam. Sebab manthûq (makna yang tersurat) dari hadits “Apa yang aku perintahkan pada kalian, maka kerjakanlah. Sebaliknya, apa yang aku larang untuk kalian, maka tinggalkanlah” adalah bahawa kata “mâ” yang bermakna “apa” itu termasuk di antara lafadz (kata) umum. Sehingga hal itu meliputi semua hukum syara’ secara umum. Dan perintah di dalamnya adalah perintah wajib.

Sumber:, 3/6/2012.

Salam Ramadhan Kareem.. ;))

Pengalaman Temuduga SPA

6 Julai 2012 : Pagi hari dimulakan seawal jam 2. Study berkenaan isu-isu semasa, politik Malaysia, tentang farmasi khususnya dan dasar-dasar baru kerajaan. Almaklumlah, semuanya hendak dibuat last minute tapi Alhamdulillah.

Dengan keizinan dan doa suami, aku memandu ke Putrajaya seawal 6.15 selepas hantar ibuku ke rumah ibu saudaraku. Punyalah macam gelabah, boleh pula aku turn ke sekolah pepagi buta hendak hantar ibuku. Mujur ibuku tegur dan aku terus berubah arah perjalanan ke rumah makcikku.

Malam sebelum hari kejadian, aku sudah survey jalan ke Putrajaya. Jadi, aku sudah boleh budget jam berapa aku sampai di bangunan SPA meandangkan aku ingin dapat parking. Pak guard di sana kata, kena awal datangnya baru ada parking. Maka tiba sahaja di sana, aku adalah kereta ke-3 bukan yang pertama. :((

Aku terus ke tingkat 6 dan duduk. Takde orang pun lagi, gelap gelita dewan temuduga. Lebih kurang jam 7.10 rasanya pihak SPA menyuruh aku dan beberapa lagi peserta dari Masterskills tunggu di dalam. Uiii, besar rupanya. Rasanya boleh muat 300 orang dalam satu-satu masa. Dan yang utamanya sejuk serta ada TV, boleh tonton berita pagi.

Jam menunjukkan angkan 7.46 pagi. Namaku dipanggil, lantas aku menyerahkan resume dan mengisi borang calon. Aku calon ke 1401 means orang pertama untuk bilik P. Aku sudah mengenali penemuduga dari SPA, cuma tidak kenal wakil dari KKM. Rupanya, dua-dua lelaki.

Kemudian, angka giliran aku terpampang di skrin. Aku berlalu ke bilik P dengan tenang. En I (wakil SPA) and En H (wakil KKM) meminta aku duduk setelah aku menyerahkan salinan-salinan yang diminta beserta fail sijil-sijil. En I menerangkan apa yang perlu aku beritahu. In Malay and hobbies must in English. Ok, this were the conversation:

En I: Puan S, (terharu betul aku time nih, yelah tak pernah orang panggil aku puan bila status sebenar aku adalah puan) sila mulakan.

Aku: bercerita panjang lebar jugaklah tentang diriku dan seangkatan.

En I: Hobbies in English ya!

Aku: my hobby is cooking (En I menyampuk, lucky your husband, hahaha), reading novels (En I, english or Malays) aku jawab Malay from Alaf 21. Then, blogging. (He said about teenagers and 'drug mold' tapi aku senyum dan angguk jelah sebab aku tak sure time tuh apa maknanya). Then, cycling and bla..bla..bla..
En I : future plan?

Aku: sebab polisi kerajaan dah 1+1, maka mestilah ada retail pharmacy for future career but that must be in 10 years. (He said, good!!)

Then, masuk tentang persoalannya.

En I: Pilihanraya yang akan datang nih pilihanraya ke berapa? (Aku jawab PRU13). Kenapa orang barat takut dengan angka 13? (Erk? Alamak kenapa ek? Jawab je tak tahu. Huhuhu) Sebab 13 unlucky number, just common sense.

En I: dalam 2 3 minggu nih, apa yang berlaku di Eropah? (EURO 2012) Husband you minat bola tak? (Owh tidak)

En I: sejak 3 minggu kebelakangan nih, kerajaan ada bagi bantuan pada satu golongan nih.. (Tak sempat dia nak habiskan pertanyaan, aku dah jawab pemandu teksi). Dia kata betul dan kenapa mereka bukan pemandu bas ke? (Aku cakap pasal dorang selalu cakap pasal politik dan blaa... ) and bla..bla..

En I: Last but not least, apa slogam 1Malaysia? Aku senyum, aku jawab Rakyat diutamakan, pencapaian didahulukan. Dia kata terbalik, aku tukar pencapaian diutamakan, rakyat didahulukan. Terbalik juga. Hahaha. Kantoi!!

En H pula: Ok, Puan S.. (Terharu lagi) Apa yang awak faham tentang 1+1? Aku jawab dengan yakin, siap mention pasal PRP and FRP dan hospital settings untuk farmasi.

En H: Macamana nak bezakan sesuatu ubat tuh ubat tradisional ke bukan? Aku cakap pasal hologram, then dia tanya lagi, ubat tradisional kena ada hologram ke? Aku jawablah tidak tapi ada nombor pendaftaran. (Haa.. itulah jawapan yang saya nak.) Apa nombornya? Erk... Dia beritahu then suruh ingat sebab ramai orang selalu tanya tentang ini. Baik!!

En H: awak kena counsel saya pasal furosemide. bila nak makan semua sekali. Aku jawab pasal air banyak dalam badan, kena makan pagi sebab nanti buang air, jangan ambil malam, nanti ganggu waktu tidur sebab nak ke bilik air je. (Dia cakap, bagus.. Perlu tekankan pasal buang air.)

En I: You boleh ambil fail-fail ya. (Mereka sempat ucapkan good luck untuk aku.)

Aku: Owh, dah siap ke? (Macam sekejap lah pula)

 Tapi kawan-kawan cakap, akulah yang paling lama antara kawan-kawan yang pertama masuk. :D 

Jarang dapat ambil gambarnya tersenyum sebab after nampak flash baru nak senyum.


Copyright © 2013 | Wanita Mustanir | by Cik Bulat